Exploring jealousy ... we'll realise and accept our addiction for living in dualityby the well known romanian author Adrian Dumitru
Exploring jealousy ... we'll realise and accept our addiction for living in dualityby the well known romanian author Adrian Dumitru
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Jealousy is difficult to be .... understood. ... but also accepted. Psychology says that "it is a complex emotion that encompasses feelings ranging from suspicion to rage to fear to humiliation. It strikes people of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations, and is most typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship from a third party. The threat may be real or imagined." I would define it ... mainly saying that it is related to the fear of not losing our partners. But .. many times it is mixed ... with the feelings of possession. Unfortunately ... it's difficult to get rid of that ... unless we have a partner which is a great psychologist ... or know all about love ... or we simple learn to practice the detachment. I've recently saw a love movie about a couple which was experiencing an amazing love story. They were both of middle age ... and never been into such a relationship... so all looked ... like in fairy tales. Well ... except the fact that he could stand as her to say even a simple "Hello" to another man. He was just driving crazy seeing that. And ... if it happened that she really had to change few words with any man ... no matter of age or his physical appearance... it was all ... horrible. He made her a scandal for ... maybe at least ... for a week. So ...all was perfect, but unfortunately they had lots of ridiculous moments induced by the fact that he was extremely possessive. ... 100% a movie inspired from a real case scenario. But ... having this show on and on and on ... till one point when she realised that if one man comes to talk with her she should just run away so that she will not generate again another jealousy crisis ... he comes with the idea to do something together and start to treat this ugly feelings which were dominating his soul. One day ... she comes to his house and finds him in the company on his friends ... Elvis and Tim. Smiling to her ... with a little bit of fear into his voice ... he suddenly says... "Emma ... i come to you with a weird proposal ... but i believe that trick might help me ... start the process of cure for my ridiculous jealousy. I want you to relax ... and allow my 2 friends to undress you ... in front of my eyes." Shocked ... she replies ... "You're crazy! You would just kill me in a millisecond if i do that. I would also dislike it ... But how can you come with such a stupid idea?! ...." "Well ... knowing how a man is thinking... I actually see into their eyes how they would love to undress you ... and make love with you. They pretend they speak with you ... about different things ... but ... And ... i just lose my minds. So .... I've made this arrangement with Elvis and Tim ... to do this show in front of my eyes ... inducing me the illusion that they will seduce you ... take off your clothes ... and then ... Actually ... into the last moment ... when i feel that i totally lose control on myself ... you come to me ... and we start making love ... calming one more time ... my mind." The movie itself was amazing ... trying to send this powerful message that a love story ...can be a great way of having therapy together. So into the end ... they just did the experiment. And even ... repeated it. Actually... he came to a point when he had started to enjoy all ... even asking his friends to touch her ... and to really pretend in front of his eyes that ... they will make love for real ... and she will allow to be seduced. But one day ... realising he will not really fool his mind for real ... cause he was understanding all was an arrangement ... he comes to her and says ... "Listen to me .... I can't really get rid of this stupid jealousy ... cause is actually a mix of jealousy and possession and i can't accept to share you. Today ... i can't fool my mind anymore. I just can't. It's like we are actors into a movie and we just play the roles that the scenarist wrote. So ... we have to go further. Both Elvis and Tim like you. I know that. Maybe you like them too. So ... I believe it's time to allow them to touch you and even make love with you for real ... in front of my eyes." She was shocked ... again. "I can't believe it. Seeing that you are losing your minds by this obsession for me ... and in fact totally losing the control on yourself ... you just want to go further ... till a point when you'll actually lose me. You'll practice the detachment. You'll succeed it. You'll defeat your fears ... but in fact you'll become indifferent. I'll be just a woman ... having an erotic show in front of your eyes. You'll enjoy it .... ... but you'll lose me. I'll not be in your soul anymore. So ... what if i come to you with another proposal ... which might be a better one ... cause i can't live without you. What if ... i start to accept your jealousy and speak with you in those moments of craziness and calm you?!" Most certainly ... the movie was revealing to me that some couples know to treat each other as real psychologists ... and it's so bad cause many others can't do it. Maybe ... we ... all ... should think of doing that. Movies are many times clearly motivating us to see lots of similarities between our experiences ... and how others are experiencing life ... and maybe guide us ... Unfortunately ... soon after leaving the cinema ... we just forget all. So ... life continues... just stupid ... Download the book ”Mr & Mrs FREUD in love ... but still playing psychological games - philosophical essays” written by the romanian essayist Adrian Dumitru for FREE. 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